If there is one thing that I was not expecting during this pregnancy, it was the sheer exhaustion that being pregnant WHILE having a toddler brings. I knew it would be hard. I did. I’m not stupid, or naive….but I did think that I could handle it while still maintaining a perfect house, life, and clothing style….O.K so maybe I was being naive. With Wyatt it was so different. I was active, I made fresh dinners every night, had the laundry always done and put away, and my house, well you could eat off the floors any day of the week! And I did all while looking beautiful, glowy, and stylishly dressed. The difference? Then I had a 5 year old who was in preschool half the day, and now I have a toddler who’s main job is to make messes and run the energy out of me, while still saving time for my now 7 year old.

I thought I could do it, but I can’t. My house is a mess, there are three loads of clean laundry still waiting to be put away 2 days later, and forget about fresh home cooked meals. I know I have an excuse, and I know that I need to realize that this too shall pass, but I’m starting to worry about what else I have committed myself to. My plan was to go back to school. Have my kids now, and my career later, that way I wouldn’t have to stop for maternity leave and so on. I could devote my time and energy to my kids when they need it the most, as babies, and as toddlers. That was the plan. Now I feel like I’m already stretched so thin that if I add I full course load of school on top of it, I will be doing exactly what I didn’t want to do, which was take time away from my kids.

It’s a hard thing to admit failure. And I’m having a hard time with it.

-K