So as some of you know we had been training…ok let me rephrase that and say that again with quotations around the word training, “TRAINING”, for our 28 mile bike ride in Indiana. What was first going to be an almost 50 mile ride, quickly was shortened after the horrible weather we’ve been having lately caused us to lose many weekends of valuable training, which trust me, if you have ever sat on a road bike seat, or biked up tons of hills with a ton of head wind, you’d understand.

This past weekend was the weekend for the ride. After making a quick pitstop at a fundraiser fair for dinner on the way out of town we headed to Indiana for our Saturday ride. I ended up driving up following my parents because John had a last minute call he had to run so he met us at my Aunt and Uncle’s house which was where we slept for the night. Again, I should probably put quotations around slept as well considering we were awakened every two hours by one of the two littles, since we were in one room with both of them. John ended up sleeping on the ground with Wyatt while I nursed Kya through out the entire night on the bed to try to keep her quiet. Blah. It wasn’t a great night, lets just say that.

Saturday morning we started out around 8:30 am from my relative’s house and rode to the starting point to meet up with my sisters. After we rearranged the kids (John pulled the trailer with Kya in it and my sister pulled Wyatt in the wee-hoo) we set off.

Now I gotta say. We really should have trained more. Ok, I SHOULD HAVE TRAINED MORE. Not only were all of the hills a killer, but the constant head wind didn’t help either. All of that paired with potholes, buggies (did I mention we were in Amish country?), and dodging horse apples (ok, horse shit), made for a very exhausting morning. I tried to record as much as I could of it, so if you’d like to see that check out the video at the bottom of this blog.

All in all we made it. Though there were times where I was very tempted to hop off my bike and walk it up a hill that never seemed to end, I stuck through it using the fact that I’d had three kids, two naturally, as motivation.

Here are some pictures and video of the family’s first real ride of the season and hopefully not the last All in all with the ride to and from my Aunt and Uncle’s and the 28 mile ride, we ended up totaling around 34-35 miles in one morning with one pit stop. Not our longest ride in a day, but it was still a great accomplishment.

xoxo

-Kelli

So first off I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who commented, emailed, texted, called, and sent positive vibes my way the other day. I can tell you all that I’m doing better, but still trying to figure things out at the moment. With that being said, THE SHOW MUST GO ON!!!! Or at least my blog for my own sanity.

If you follow me on Facebook you’ll know that we have been making our own baby food for Kya! A month ago we picked up the Infantino Fresh Squeezed system and some extra pouches because they were on clearance at Meijer for a decent price. Not only does Wyatt love the squeezers, but it also seemed like a great idea for Kya so that she could eat on the go as well. Now I know that they aren’t reusable like the Booginhead pouches that I mentioned a few months ago, but to be completely honest, we love that they are disposable for traveling. Sometimes having to keep track of ONE MORE LITTLE THING while there are thousands of other things going on can be super stressful and that is just one thing that I don’t have time for right now.

On top of getting the Infantino system, we also picked up a new food processor. Now I know that there are a bunch of different baby food makers out these days, and I even went as far as putting a Baeba in my shopping cart on Amazon, but when it comes down to it, if I’m going to spend hundreds of dollars on something, I want to be able to use it for the long haul gosh darnit! So we stopped at Bed Bath & Beyond with our handy 20% off coupon and we picked up the Cuisinart 11 cup food processor after reading all the great reviews and blah blah blah.

When we got home we of course dove right in opening everything and trying things out. I did manage to shoot some footage from the evening, but I won’t lie, the camera died half way through and the video is complete crap, but I still wanted to post it to show you our “first time experience” with everything.

All in all we love the processor. I can’t say that there is one thing about it that I don’t like. It chops, purees, and all that good stuff, and it even looks nice on my counter top. The system we love as well. Even though it sure as heck is NOT as mess free as the Infantino YouTube videos make it seem, it however does do what it says and it has been amazing in regards to a food storage system and eating on the go. Here are the different foods we made.

• Sweet Potatoes
• Sweet Potatoes and Carrots
• Carrots
• Butternut Squash and Carrots
• Blueberries and Mangos
• Blueberries and Apples
• Butternut Squash and Pears

To make the vegetable puree I started to pre-heat my oven to 400 degrees then I cut the butternut squash in half, scooped out the seeds and stringy gooiness, laid it meat side down on a shallow pan, and then put the sweet potatoes on the same pan after washing them. For the carrots I used a 9 by 13 glass pan, chopped them down to smaller pieces and threw them in with the rest of the vegetables. Before putting both pans in the oven I added a few cups of water (enough to cover the entire bottom of each pan) to each pan as well. Then I set the timer for 40 minutes and started steaming my pears and apples using my old school metal steaming basket on the stove. For the mangos and blueberries I washed them and that was that.

After everything was done cooking I then decided what I wanted to mix with what and then threw them in the processor. If things got too thick, or needed thinning out I added the water from the bottom of each vegetable pan or some breast milk. Once pureed to the consistency needed for Kya I then used my Infantino system to fill the pouches and spooned the leftovers into the small Glad containers before putting them in the freezer.

So far all of them have been hits, especially the sweet potatoes and carrots with Kya and the mango and blueberries with Wyatt. Since we didn’t want to use all of our pouches we did also use some small plastic BPA free, freezer containers by Glad that I really like. Not only are they reusable, but they are the perfect size. Usually in the morning or night before I will grab one and put it in the refrigerator and it is thawed by lunch and dinner for Kya’s consumption.

All in all our system works really well for us. Steaming/baking the veggies and fruit, using a food processor to puree and then either sticking the foods in disposable Infantino pouches or small resuable Glad containers and putting them in the freezer. John was nice and bought me some organizers as well to keep my freezer neat and tidy . Since we are able to make so much in one night we have decided to do baby food every other Sunday, which to be completely honest with you has been quite relaxing and kind of fun! Not to mention extremely cost effective for us.

Below is the vlog that we recorded the night we bought the Infantino System (so a few weeks ago) and the day we bought the processor and tried them for the first time. Again, it is crap. Enjoy

xoxo

-Kelli

These past few days have been so great and so crappy at the same. My husband just got an amazing raise at his job that is really going to help the family, I started selling Tastefully Simple and Scentsy (pardon me while I self-promote), and a great friend came in to town to spend some time with me. Those were the great things. The crappy things however were that I got sick with a random cold, I was told that jaw surgery might be in my future for my severe TMJ, I’m still doing laundry at my parents house like a college student (BUT FOR 5 PEOPLE) because our dryer is still broken, my two-year old has become a screaming devil, my now out of school 8-year-old acts like the world should revolve around her, or at least any and every room that she is in at the time, and my youngest Kya has been going through a terrible teething phase that has resulted in her only wanting me ALL THE TIME and only wanting to nurse causing her to wake several times a night, and have blow out poops which when your dryer is broken really stinks…literally.

I know that those crappy things may not seem so crappy to most people, but I guess you’d have to be in our household, or be me to exactly understand. On top of all of those things I’ve also felt extremely unappreciated by so many people in my life. My siblings (YES MY SIBLINGS IF YOU ARE READING), some of my friends, companies who I have helped advance in their own endeavors without even a thank you in return, my kids, and last but not least my husband.

I’ve been someone else’s parent since I was 18 which means I have worried about someone else, put someone else before me, and supported someone else for the past 8 and a half years.

Now this is where people might start to think that I’m just a whiner, or that I am complaining too much, or being a bitch, but  I feel pretty damn shitty because it feels like I have spent the past almost decade being someone else’s sister, friend, mother, and/or wife without being appreciated for any of it.

Since becoming an adult and realizing what an idiot I was as a kid, I’ve really tried to live by the golden rule to treat other’s as I would want to be treated. Sadly not everyone feels the same.

Today I snapped. I woke up sad, and then it spiraled in to me locking myself in my daughters’ room just to be alone, while yelling through the door at my husband to leave me alone, seriously, my exorcist type tantrum would have put the worst two-year-old’s to shame. I was tired of  kids screaming my name because one of them jumped on the other, or didn’t want to watch the same show as the other and their spoiled attitudes about not being able to use their father’s iPad, my back was shot to hell from carrying around 20 pounds of teething baby, while my face was covered in scratches from her flailing her arms while nursing, and I was fed up with trying to keep a house somewhat clean when all anyone else ever did was trash it and leave it. My TMJ was cracking, my head was pounding, and I was on the brink of hyperventilating. I had really just had enough.

After sobbing for what felt like hours, but was only about 45 minutes curled up in a fetal position on the floor in front of the door so that my husband or kids couldn’t barge in, I felt like something snapped. My head had really just had enough of all of it. Once I calmed down I went downstairs and sat in the chair. The kids and my husband knew better to try to say anything to me so I just sat there and stared out the window at our tree blowing in the wind. For 20 minutes I just sat and stared. It was glorious. A thought then popped in to my head…I Kelli, had finally done it. I’d gone crazy.

No. I didn’t go crazy, obviously, but to be completely honest, something had changed. After my husband apologized ten fold over the way things had been for the past year he asked what he could do to salvage the day. Me not wanting my kids to suffer for their mom’s craziness, suggested going to the store to get Ava’s summer wardrobe, and then to the park for a picnic and bike riding.

Even though I tried to put on a happy face I still felt terrible inside. I still DO feel terrible. I’m not sure if blue really can be a feeling, but I really do feel the true color of blue. A very dark, sad, navy blue.

My husband tried his hardest to be as accommodating to me as possible for the rest of the day. Taking extra care of the words he spoke, and making sure the kids were attended to so that I could just walk quietly on the path, or sit in the van and stare out the window. Even though he tried, little things still made me cry randomly. I felt broken.

When we got home I recorded a haul video to try to cheer myself up and to get back in the swing of things, but now as I sit here I’m once again just…blue. I know that I am a very lucky person with everything that I have, but I again, I guess if you aren’t in my shoes, you really just wouldn’t understand. There are a lot of things that go on in my life, and that have happened to me that I have yet to share, and may never share. I hope that you all trust me enough to not over exxagerate siguations, or complain just to complain, and that you know that when I do actually come to you…come here, to tell my story it is something that is more serious than just a bad day.

Today was terrible. I don’t think I’ve been so scared of my own feelings since being a teenager.

If I can leave you all with one sentence to explain how I feel right now, it’s this. I’m 26 years old and I’m sick of being me. I wouldn’t exchange my kids or my family for anything, but right now, I am just sick of being me…

-k

• Any toy that crinkles
• Empty water bottles
• Talking
• Peek-a-boo
• Any orange vegetable
• Boobs
• Her sister and brother
• Mommy
• Daddy
• Smiling at strangers
• Rolling to get to places
• Waving socks in the air
• Bath time
• Being outside
• Mouthing on iPhones/iPads
• Chewing on her dresses

Current Dislikes:

• Any vegetable that is green
• Being left alone too long
• Having things taken away from her, especially things that she shouldn’t have, but wants
• Being stuck on her belly
• Getting her nails trimmed
• Getting her hair done
• Wet diapers

Current Developments and Milestones:

• Falls asleep by herself in her crib and sleeps still 5 am (most nights)
• Rolls to get places
• Has two bottom teeth visible underneath the gums
• Hair has grown down passed her nose
• Knows how to mimic gestures
• Can pee and poop on toilet with assistance
• Is eating solids regularly
• Laughs more
• Recognizes more people

Here is the feeding schedule that our kids’ pediatrician gave to us years ago and that we have used for all three kids:

xoxo-

Kelli

xoxo-

Kelli

Lately I’ve been getting annoyed with how little I talk about the other side to parenting that doesn’t always get talked about, or seen by people outside of our home. I guess part of me was scared to be judged, or to be called a bad mother, but right now I’m at the point where I just don’t care.

I made this video the second I got home tonight, because I was tired, cranky, and just needed to vent, and also because I’m just so freaking tired of everyone around me telling me how awesome their lives are all the time and how amazing their kids are. I need to know that if things are so freaking amazing all the time for everyone around me, then what am I doing wrong? Why can’t I be as calm and collected all the time as the Duggars are when I have 16 less kids than them!?!?

This video may make it seem like I’m miserable all the time, and honestly yes for the past 6 months since Wyatt has become so difficult I have had MOMENTS of being miserable at least once a day, BUT I have also been extremely happy as well and it hasn’t (and I hope always won’t be) always been like this before. Having three kids is really rough and it’s totally worth it, but when things are really bad it’s hard to see that.

I can’t be the only one who feels like, or is like this can I?

When I talk to my parents about how stressed I am, or ask them if what is going on is normal they always tell me the same thing, “yeah, I remember really hating you at that age”. Now they don’t mean that they REALLY hated me (or maybe they did), but you get the picture. Now a days people never say those things. To say that you “hate” your kid, or bad mouth them in any way is complete taboo, if you raise your voice at your kid you are a terrible parent, and God help the person who admits they’d ever spanked their child even once. Well here I am complaining about all those things, and yes, I am also admitting in writing to everyone to read that recently we spanked our son due to repeatedly not listening to us about running away from us in to the road and parking lots. Even though I don’t have to explain myself there I will. When it comes to my son’s over all safety, yes, I would rather we spank him once than him get hit by a car once, and yes,to answer your follow-up question, both John and I were raised in homes where we were spanked ON OCCASION as well. Go ahead, rip me a new one.

I love my kids and I know that ONE day things well get a little easier, but I also know that there is a long road ahead of me with two menstruating daughters and if he’s anything like his dad, a son who is bound to find trouble somewhere.

xoxo

-Kelli