Little BK is 3 months old today and I am amazed that we have survived! To say that being a parent is easy, would be a huge lie, and these last three months have reminded us of that.
Three months for myself has been extremely difficult. With J home for the past month on disability healing from his knee surgery, and already battling PPD, I have been pushed over my limit multiple times. To make a long story short, I started taking my “happy pills” a little over a week ago. After a very scary moment where I felt suicidal and very hopeless, my husband and I realized that I needed more help than we’d thought. I’ve always battled depression. As a teenager I suffered from suicidal thoughts and then again after I had my daughter at 18…I never thought that I would get back to that place where I am now. It was scary to say the least. Continue reading →
I’m tired of being sad, so today I am not going think, or talk about anything that might bring me down Instead I thought I’d share an interesting thing that my husband sent me yesterday.
Pregnancy can be such a wonderful time in a woman’s life. Usually when we want to capture a moment, or a memory we take pictures. As the years have passed, ultrasound imaging has come a long way, especially when it comes to viewing your unborn child. Now a days parents will pay extra just to see their child in 3D and 4D images, and will even travel miles away to get elective ultrasounds done as well. I myself am guilty of getting as many ultrasounds as possible during my last two pregnancies from my mom’s friend who wanted to use me and my baby as a “fetus model”. It was truly amazing how much of Wyatt I could see before he was even born!
This week has been filled with so many mixed emotions for me. I would say at the beginning of this week I hit my lowest point, but then last night I also hit my highest when I got a wonderful two hour break from my two youngest kids to go out shopping with my eldest daughter and my mother. Even though it felt amazing to get out for a couple of hours for the first time in a month without the baby and toddler with me, I still very much missed Kya, especially when a random screaming child triggered a let down in my breasts. And here I thought only my son and daughter’s cry only did that…awesome. Anyways, this week has been a rollar coaster (did I also mention that I’m on day 4 of no sugar?).
So a few weeks before Kya was born I received an email from a YouTube subscriber asking me to make a video on what I was going to do to lose the baby weight post partum. Immediately I was a little offended and put off. Kya’s due date was still a month away and already people were asking me how I was going to lose the baby weight. What was one of the last things on my mind was now one of the first things on my mind…how was I going to lose the baby weight?
I’m not going to lie, after getting as big as I did with Kya, I was very concerned about what I would look like after she was born. With my daughter Ava I bounced back immediately strolling out of the hospital in my size 0 jeans and you couldn’t even tell that I’d just had a baby. With Wyatt I wasn’t so lucky. I gained almost 50 pounds during his pregnancy which I blame on being newly and happily married as well as the pretzel M&Ms that had just recently come out that year. Even though I looked great after a month, it still took me quite awhile to get back to my “normal” size. So with this being my third time around and knowing that because it was my third, things might not go back to the way they used to, and/or I could get stretch marks even though I hadn’t before, I was a little worried.
These were all taken about 2-3 years apart. From left to right: Pre-Wyatt post A, 38 wks preg. w/Wyatt, 38 wks preg. with Kya Continue reading →
So now that I have my third child under my belt…that sounded wrong, but you know what I mean, I feel as though I should share with some of you first time moms/dads some things that I wish I would have known the first time around. Now when I say first time around I do mean when I was 18, so not only was that a LONG time ago, but I was also at the very most naive and unknowing place in my life so in other words…there were a lot of things that surprised me.
Because there is too much to say in one post, I thought I would just pick out some of the things that I wasn’t expecting 7 years ago after the birth of my first daughter (so weird to think I actually have two girls now!). Continue reading →